2nd Ave Churchyard: Memorium

Friday the 13th of May

 Graveyard 'Exquisite Corpse' Prose

" ...The idea of primordial unity related to something existing in or persisting from the beginning with such force or qualities it cannot be extinguished..."

~ Kids fuck in graveyards?

All day and all night.

They tantalize the corpses,

in her imaginings while

concrete scabs lock the

wounds of Rape Way,

that ugly alley that

you thought you wanted.

Dumpster fruit, kisses, narcosis.

Oblivion is unattainable fantasy;

snake swallowing its tail,

Ouroboros come to me,

give what you suck!

(and he sucked all)

my favorite whirlpool, 
my only lover; 
a corpse grasping 
at kids fucking...

One horror is preferable. 

Another is debris, fragments

that I constantly puke

on to your grave,

you pitiful man, undead!

This won't hurt

at all he said,

his eyes inside out.

I pray mine close. ~

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

& 

Erin  Mazer Burley

Sestina Renaissance

Sestina Renaissance

I was the thirst. Living as thirst; dried up, lonely and withered lust.

What a fool, what a wasted life; body alone; piss, vomit, bile, my ruin.

A brutal display to my ignorance of true value, no means to redemption.

Pleading to a taunting flicker, my contemptible tears; this betrayal

of a true self. This wretch (false self) who lived as I! Safe to predict

they knew her too well. Casting shame; I bled shame, anguish, now fatal?

What horrific calamity is this? A pathetic display of D.O.A, that final fatal

sip. Pupils? Gone, I don’t see; and the slow burn to boil cold blood. That lust,

give me more, waking sleep, apathy, and unearned nirvana. Poor fools predict

this came at no cost. The steep sum of my errors: an irrefutable ruin

everlasting. A mockery of value and principle; long lost, now only betrayal.

Crane and wolf, Snap jaws, take my idiot head, I expect no redemption.

With tremulous phantom limbs, shriek and sing for your redemption.

Vanishing, that flickering light, perhaps galaxies, or only the fatal

toxins between us? I couldn’t know. My thirst! My Bounty! My betrayal.

Of god, of truth and all mankind, I had no reverence, no thought, only lust 

for alternate reality, and different realm; Now I’ve found it, fallen to ruin.

Sixteen years of atrocities, turning away in conceit. What did you predict?

Will the feeble cerebral exercise prove inadequate in what they predict?

Small, simple creature; the errors are numberless, that’s not redemption.

Living with cognizance, truth and forgiveness.  Not here, not now, in ruin.

I wish I could pity you, truly I do. To be mortal is a brittle wing, so fatal.

Not only for you, but all mankind and kin. You met death, life full of lust

so valued. You have cheated yourself out of nirvana too soon with betrayal.

What do you know of such things? Come, tell us of nirvana and of betrayal.

What mockery you made of your values, did you ignore, could you predict

the consequences,  that would inevitably come from an insatiable lust?

Give you more. A poke in the arm or the neck, now you seek redemption!

On your way down, you knew those poisons you consumed were fatal!

You knew you were rushing to the door, a gateway to only your ruin.

The hypocrisy, inconsistency and fascism you found in church; is a ruin

made of steeples and shame. It does not belong to you. Another betrayal,

that one; to the Gods. Follow simple universal truths, then your fatal

mortality, your innate humanity, is nothing to fear. You can safely predict 

living in those truths, the soul recognition truth, is the way to redemption.

You lack nothing, whole and complete, you are! An imaginary need; lust.

Since conception your condition was fatal, a finite mortality. If your ruin

is what you desire, it will wait. Lust for truth and you will find no betrayal.

Only through this death; I predict the magnificent possibility of redemption.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

A Transcribed Narrative of 'The Between'

I can hear this marching,

How I knew I failed –

With sound- then rivulets -the dark would come –

A door I kept avoiding –

Pleading with gods because I knew I failed
but never why – gooey, black rivulets of tar

seeping through that door, seeping through

where the hinges were –

darker darker darker –

silent mercy cries –

tiny light flicker taunting,

not to guide, it’s how I knew

I failed – like the sound made

When someone dies, the death toll –

The varied tests – decisions to save

This or that person –

This young beautiful girl – with a man,

It was revealed she was his mistress,

They both died in a car crash,

Illusion of her innocence stripped away, (that’s how I knew

It was real because they were total strangers, how could I know)

They were two souls passing through

the realm between worlds when I was, several others, not all at once-

One of many (tests?) – loyalty test, patience test, perseverance test –

“how long til she collapses from exhaustion?”

they were relentless with their digging – and terrified,

what was I doing wrong? Maybe a childhood imprint –

when the light I couldn’t look at went away – a darkness

not to be believed, an entity underneath the darkness,

light, lush grass and full blossoms wither- receding under that dark –

stuck in a tunnel, they’re drowning me, to test my will to live,

a flooded sewer system – a maze – rising water – move move move –

I got out – but – anyway – eventually succumbing

To spiritual exhaustion like invisible ropes,

They slowly lowered me – surrounded by blank morose people –

Lost souls? – watching me being lowered on a pulley – they were people

From many ages, watching in the bygone fashions of all eras and regions –

Someone (merciful fellow soul in limbo?) pointed me in the direction

To go –  then I Came Back? – after hundreds of failed tests –

In soul trouble, doomed – I gave up on the taunting tiny flicker –

-The deities expected me to figure it out

And they kept leaving me to grapple alone –

I wasn’t prepared to go with that thing

Where all was and was not – the nonexistence

Of fear and suffering but everything else too, a force

More powerful than the dark that wouldn’t stay with me –

I kept failing – I’d see people I knew, to test where my loyalties laid –

I was told my daughter was in an accident, car crash, urgent,

But all my street friends were going to die – had to choose –

The government was going to blow up their squat,

Instant demolition, Nickels was in there – had to choose –

I knew war songs by the time the EMT was there –

My body foul but I am not in it – I’m singing

These nothing battle songs I could’ve never heard before –

I said, “Lights in my chest, long as they’re there I’m okay,

They’re guiding me,” (the nurse didn’t understand)

Thought I saw a rat

But it was darkness

Chasing me –

Melodically humming then the hospital –

I was wearing my Zeus T-shirt –

Holding it, a circle not a circle –

That sound, those sounds, those eyes –

Manipulative eyes – speaking in language

I somehow understood – tricking me, being something

they weren’t – they said I had to do

ihis One Thing,

and that this thing, and not the light, would protect me –

they did a ritual, they were all dressed in ( I don't know) Asian attire?

I’d never seen before in life, closest thing I’ve seen were those monks

over in Chinatown asking people for money for this or that

Noble Cause, they concealed what/who was behind them,

didn’t tell me whole truth of what was behind – I shrunk back

(if the spirit can recoil in horror that is) finally I saw it –

couldn’t look away from its eyes – such power over me –

it revealed its non-genitals – “Now take of me" - don’t know

how I got away – O my God – that’s what I’ve been doing?

So wretched, so horrified, and it tricked me, it wore

Gold, shining, necklaces, the false ornaments

Of another world, like industrial chains, false bright

To seduce me with how easy it was (undeserved respite?)

The light off him came from artificial source –

Male not female, they were all male, those taunting beings

Giving me the test, lusting after me obscenely, awful,

There was even one when I was supposed to save

A demolished building – I chose wrong – “my daughter

doesn’t want to see me anyways” they all fucking died, all my street friends –

I chose wrong – anyways – severed corpses, dead after all,

Nickels- other streetboys, friends- that I knew from real life.

It speaks to you in your own language see?

The thing behind all others, hidden- 

the circle’s movement -

sounds like helicopter blades whipping through wind –

Force yourself awake! Thought it was a dream

But I couldn’t wake from it –

Thought it was D.T's but it wasn’t –

Horrifying – no one will believe this –

Just toxins in my brain? – everything.

Dark damp dreary – like being under a ship, moist,

Unpleasant, there were no smells –

Straw perhaps? everywhere, straw beds, people watching me –

On straw pallets, they were not scared or sad just watching,

another one fall- a human form.

Pulling me downwards past them – 

humming that odd between worlds song –

If I didn’t keep humming that song (chant?) making those circles

With my hands, then this golden light

That still kept me bound to life –

Some ancient shit –

Would snap, darkness kept chasing me –

Language doesn’t do it justice

Even if I use my entire lexicon-

It was just was far more vast – no words –

Have to use simplistic words –

Words that don’t quite cut it –

They are just closest words

To describe-

everything 

how the blossoming light would vanish and why.

Everything it touched became so pure, pretty –

Pretty’s the wrong word but there isn’t a right one for this,

---------------------------------------------------------------------

What was the trick? The darkness? Or the light beneath?

All I know is they were in total opposition.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

Transcribed by Erin Burley

MARY CATHERINE- By Robert La Force