Did you guys do anything special for Valentine’s Day?
I was alone on Valentine’s Day. We weren’t really together-
together on that day. Actually, my
valentine was an overdose.
Oh. Fuck
Yeah, I was on cocaine and heroin. My dealer gave me a gift
by giving me $70-worth of coke when I
had only bought $40. I figured I would just push this as far
as it will go. I put it all in the cooker at
once and shot it and I had a seizure.
That sounds painful.
I actually came out of it feeling pretty good and wanted to
do it again. Nobody else wanted me to though.
They took care of me right there
the seizure didn’t last long. Mark wasn’t there that
night — I was hanging with my dealer and a couple other girls.
What was Mark’s reaction?
He told me shooting cocaine was no good and he asked me
to stop because it’s crazy or stupid. You
know, the general caring reaction.
Are you going to miss sleeping next to Mark tonight? Or do
you think you’ll find him?
Well, we agreed to meet up at 10 o’clock on St. Mark’s and
Second Avenue, and if he’s not, he’s in
big trouble.
Do you think you guys are going to work it out?
I totally see us having a future — if we left New York
and/or just generally got off the drugs
and tried to do the right thing and live a good life — the
way we were meant to…
or the way that
would be most conducive to our happiness.
Why can’t you keep the love and the drugs?
Because they make people someone they’re not, and Mark is
not a selfish junkie who lies; Mark has
become that because of the life he needs to live to maintain
the drug usage.
How do you know that about Mark if you’ve only known him
to be a junkie?
Everyone has their light and everyone has their darkness,
and his light shines through occasionally
when the drugs aren’t as prevalent. The drugs have kind of
taken over right now, but it doesn’t mean
he has to be that way the rest of his life.
-Interview by Peter Madson in 2011-
Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen
No tears or saliva
