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Eyes Cast Downward- Memoir Excerpt

Originally hand written in July 2015 Late Spring of 2014.  Just Months before liver failure Our eyes are nearly always cast dow...

Monday, August 31, 2015

By all means! - S.of C





Yes, Of course...
 By all means, please do!
 Pour your loathing all over me, 
I want it all. 
Just look at you, dear Gods!
 It is seeping from every orifice of your body.
I can smell it and it smells like rancid meat.
I can taste it and it tastes like a rotting tooth.
But that's alright, I will take it.
 That is more than fine with me darling. 
Keep it coming, pour some more! 
Yes... See now that's what I'm talking about!
I know I am doing something right.
 I am on mother fucking point when you lay your malice on me thick and spread it!


I understand you and your need. 
I was you once. 
She is a ghost now.
Wishing I could have what someone else did. 
 I never was quite as malicious. I had my own way.
The singular difference between you and I is that you can actually possess what you hate me for. 
I could show you but you would have to open more than your eyes.
 Do you never wonder why you feel that impulse to spew that vicious poison?
 Once you can understand that, you will already be on your way.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

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