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Eyes Cast Downward- Memoir Excerpt

Originally hand written in July 2015 Late Spring of 2014.  Just Months before liver failure Our eyes are nearly always cast dow...

Thursday, August 20, 2015

I Like to Scratch - S. of C.

 Originally hand written on: July Thirteenth, 2015 at 10:45 am

I like to scratch, push, pull and prod at them.
 I like to have my fingers inside the eager mouth and open them up and see what’s inside....
Watch their temperament change with this new sensation they feel; Is it fear? Is it pleasurable?
They don't know and don't have the means to bother comprehending all these contradictions.
I bite my lower lip... How exciting it is! To have you so vulnerable.
I tell you to relax and you do. Good.
I lower my body down directly in front of you and put my mouth near your cock.
 He salutes me like a good sailor.
I look up and lock eyes with you and do not release ... What's inside their baby?
I watch the fear dissolve within your eyes. 
 I feel it replaced with excitement and longing.
I see it nearing the slit of my smirking lips.
So very much going on inside one little man... I raise my body and take a step back.
"Spin round for me darling, I want to surprise you..."
I slip out of my Siouxsie and the Banshees Tee and shimmy out of my panties.
 I pick them up with my toes and toss them to the side.
I quietly walk towards you and firmly press my breasts against your back.
I lift my arms up and place them upon your shoulders.
I close me eyes, nestle my face in the crease of your nape and fill my lungs with you.
You smell faintly of sweat, cigarettes and yesterday’s booze.
Delicious on you, the scent alone makes me swell a little.
Of course you are not aware of my momentary pleasure. I do not want you to be.
I run my fingers down the taut muscle tissue of your upper arms.
You obstruct my destination abruptly.
 Then attempt to regain what ever is left of your precious control.
There is nothing like that keen vulnerability is there?
 Then having a raging erection with your back turned from its causation.
I know this, and I want you too.
So I open myself to you, to settle the score so to speak.  I know exactly what I am doing.
 I lift up my right leg and allow you to slide two fingers inside me. Just two.
I study your reaction with my mouth ajar, enjoying myself very much.
The way they slide in so smoothly but gripped so firm and exit glistening.
 You immediately place your fingers in your mouth and roll your tongue around them.
I hear you moan a little, an animal like, breathy and guttural sound. 
A sound that makes my knees lose their firm lock.
 I came close to forgetting my preoccupation with control. In that moment I want to give it all to you. I almost feel as if I now am at your mercy, but I am not quite that weak.
I continue to stand upright, both feet firmly upon the ground.
I look at your hungry eyes and place my index finger inside my slit, and it glides in and then out so lovingly...I keep my eyes locked with yours. I begin to step towards you while easing my finger out of my cunt and placing it in my mouth enjoying its sweet, salty twist. I stop when I am right in front of you, playfully popping my finger out of my mouth. I grip the sides of your face, that seven o'clock shadow, that beautiful strong jaw, and press you onto my mouth... Yes. Yes!
Now we can come together, to forget we exist, to live inside throbbing pulses and sticky sweat.
 In oblivion and exhilaration...
Ahh, yes. Yes Indeed.
 The exquisite ecstasy of human sexuality.
 Fucking extraordinary.
Hand me a cigarette babe?

 Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen.

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