Revamped; A Featured Post

Eyes Cast Downward- Memoir Excerpt

Originally hand written in July 2015 Late Spring of 2014.  Just Months before liver failure Our eyes are nearly always cast dow...

Friday, December 11, 2015

Dear Heart Shakers- S.of C

Dear Heart shakers,
 Oh my lovelies.... you rattle, rattle, rattled it around.
Did you enjoy that? 
I sure did. Many times in fact. 
I know I will enjoy a different kind of pleasure from now on.
To the ol' breath snatchers who make it cease without warning. Ahem....
Time takers and distractions of all kind, tick tock tick tock.... 
Who make proclamations of a word you do not comprehend the meaning of:
I will start off with a fairly simple statement that I am quite fond of,  
- Fuck you! -
You recognized another reflection of the lost parts of yourself in me? 
You should know by now, I assume that you have figured it out. 
No matter how many times you fucked me, you never did find you.
That will not stop you from trying will it? 
A new sheath for your rusty sword… What a shame. 
I wish I could tell you that you are going about it all the wrong way. 
I know you wouldn’t listen because you do not understand the nature of your actions.
Maybe one day you will. 
For now this little dreamer runs towards. 
Not away.
I look inward and not outside for what I know is already there.
To one worthy of the delicate beauty that I now recognize within me:
 You must know that I have deep reverence for my heart and my mortal form. 

It is God Given and unique unto me.
It beats and bleeds with a love of the truest kind. 
Never again for fiendish, frivolous grappling.

It will be a painful day for you when you do figure it out, if you ever do.
It will be something you will celebrate later on. 
I am relieved that it is over. 
All of those many 'you's are gone now
Just dust kicked up in the path behind me as I walk farther away. 
I know it is there without having to turn around. 
You all just disappear into the atmosphere.
Such a comforting and appropriate feeling this image brings.
One day you will shake up another’s path. 
Hopefully your exit will be as helpful to them as it was for me. 
I know I opened the door.
If you hadn’t made the entrance you wouldn’t have been able to make that unsettling exit. 

So, really and truly- thank you. 
It was nice to have met you. 
I bid you ado and still a fuck you.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

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