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Eyes Cast Downward- Memoir Excerpt

Originally hand written in July 2015 Late Spring of 2014.  Just Months before liver failure Our eyes are nearly always cast dow...

Saturday, January 28, 2017


Close your eyes, this is gonna sting a little.

The morning will come 
with echoes of brevity.
A mordant threat; 
lacking my gravity

 omen in my chest
 won't allow me to speak.
My haphazard surgery
Soul starving; body weak.

I unravel once more
 Implantation for Anima
Thought I could fix this.
 But gone is my stamina

Hope weakens with time
and hope are  my stitches
best to put this to an end,
 Fuck sleeping in ditches
my silent immutable voice, 
try to deny my freedom
Don't I have a choice? 
This is prison!
 not me, never. not in ages. 
Stuck marching in line? 
I've been in those cages
I've served all my time.
 You want peace; 
you Speak of love.
 dry and dark well where
they shot down your doves!?
You said you're  Thirsty - 
Bitch- take it to a jury, 
I have been the  Sahara 
 the end and the beginning.

You heard the verdict in 
Creaking branches; Listen to truth; 
I'm still swinging, I'm that strange fruit.
 So you snack on hell's delight
God is a liar; your heaven's corrupt. 
Knock, Knock knocked up with a tick, tick tock; 
Qu'est-Ce Que la patience?
 Laughable virtue I never did have.
in comes the night, ending  in cadence;

So come now, come to me  fast,
Drench me in red; clothe me in black.
 first, carve a great circle
upon my bare back.

Aim for  the center; A swift inverted V
through the middle, elongated slash,
Be decisive and hear my scream.

In anarchy, in death,  welcome the past.
See me bleed, same as you? I've bled! We Bleed!
A whisper comes with hopes final gasp,

Look at bloodied trails! Walk our own path.

"once my darling, It was very much Alive",
In anarchy, in death; we have met our past.

 Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen.

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