The Hell Before the Fury. -Interview Exerpt 2011-

 Did you guys do anything special for Valentine’s Day?

I was alone on Valentine’s Day. We weren’t really together-

together on that day.  Actually, my 

valentine was an overdose.

Oh. Fuck

Yeah, I was on cocaine and heroin. My dealer gave me a gift 

by giving me $70-worth of coke when I 

had only bought $40. I figured I would just push this as far

 as it will go. I put it all in the cooker at 

once and shot it and I had a seizure.

That sounds painful.

I actually came out of it feeling pretty good and wanted to 


do it again. Nobody else wanted me to though. 

They took care of me right there 

the seizure didn’t last long. Mark wasn’t there that 

night — I was hanging with my dealer and a couple other girls.

What was Mark’s reaction?

He told me shooting cocaine was no good and he asked me 

to stop because it’s crazy or stupid. You 

know, the general caring reaction.

Are you going to miss sleeping next to Mark tonight? Or do 

you think you’ll find him?

Well, we agreed to meet up at 10 o’clock on St. Mark’s and 

Second Avenue, and if he’s not, he’s in 

big trouble.

Do you think you guys are going to work it out?

I totally see us having a future — if we left New York 

and/or just generally got off the drugs 

and tried  to do the right thing and live a good life — the 

way we were meant to… 

or the way that 

would be most conducive to our happiness.

Why can’t you keep the love and the drugs?

Because they make people someone they’re not, and Mark is 

not a selfish junkie who lies; Mark has 

become that because of the life he needs to live to maintain 

the drug usage.

How do you know that about Mark if you’ve only known him 

to be a junkie?

Everyone has their light and everyone has their darkness, 

and his light shines through occasionally 

when the drugs aren’t as prevalent. The drugs have kind of 

taken over right now, but it doesn’t mean 

he has to be that way the rest of his life. 

-Interview by Peter Madson in 2011-

Full Interview

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

Matchstick Boys

My love;
a matchstick
 drenched in tar.

 flickered for a time,
 I know my darling...
I saw

That sad, peculiar heart,

  You ghost of a flame. 

Now pained;
To watch from afar;

This precious, frail, matchstick boy

alone
Suffocating
fading in the dark.

- Mary Catherine, Cowardice queen

Invective Against Bourgeois Fleas

Woe to Narcissus -

Would you look at her Go!

This lesbian, American

thinks she's Arthur Rimbaud!

I demand you to speak!

Why come to my city?

You repulsive sycophant

from mediocrity!

You must Confess it,

For I know of your kind;

That's 'nostagie de la bou' -

You parasite of minds!

Kick rocks and farewell-

Have I made you that sore?

You'd already deduced us

to the folk of your lore.

You're uninvited.

My mind's not yours to glean. 

You can not know the filthy

with your hands kept so clean!

You're a bourgeois Flea;

A depravity fiend.

lowly me; my city's streets.

Cease! No time to be weaned.

Entrenched in my Docs,

You may find what you seek. 

Just come down from that high horse.

Then I'll kick in your teeth.

Welcome to New york!

Now that is how it's done.

Or, I suppose you could say

"Une juste punition."

- Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

-Press play-

Let that  soak in.

This Bitch. ©.Q

Mary’s quotes

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."— Oscar Wilde

Goodreads Quotes

Mary’s quotes

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."— Oscar Wilde

Goodreads Quotes

To My Daughter

Dear Devin Jade,

I know that You love this song.

I paid very close attention to you when I saw you last.

you are so precious. 
I studied you. 

My thoughts are many...
I know where to start. 

I love you.

A small sentence; yet flows with a wild power when spoken by someone that truly means it. 

It is one of the most important things one could say to those we feel that way towards. 

So Say it as often 
as you think it. 

But only if you truly mean it.

 Saying I love you is similar to an apology, both statements should not be used carelessly.

To love is to not only appreciate but to cherish.
 I believe that we, all people, should always try to love everyone equally. That is a different kind of love, called “Agape Love” *  That is a difficult attitude to obtain and maintain, some people spend a lifetime or more than one, depending on your beliefs, to love all people with equal benevolence. 

I believe it is something to always strive towards. After all, each of us is suffering. 

We are breathing in the same air;

 bleeding the same color. 

I paid very close attention to you when I saw you last.

you are so precious. 
I studied you.
 My thoughts are many...
 I don't even know where to start, 
 I'll try.

I see how sensitive you are, how aware.

I wish I could shield you; from anyone or anything that causes you discomfort. 

but, we know that is impossible.

When someone hurts you;

try to keep in mind that there is always more than what meets the eye, Always a backstory...

So Many frightened, disappointed and lost people.  Sometimes it is those who seem to have everything you wish you had but never did; 

A super mom and dad who give a limitless amount of love, affection and support? 

Or maybe a girl at school who seems so perfect. Perhaps she always has the right clothes, perfect smile, says the right things at the right time, makes everyone laughs, all the girls seem to want to be her and boys want to marry her. 

but... Could there is something behind that?

Perhaps inside she feels trapped like a puppet being tossed around having to perform for everyone. Suffering is not always visible, but it is a guarantee that each of us suffers in our own way. 

There are going to be times when life may seem unfathomably harsh and without logic or any justice. “Fair?”  I urge you to dismiss the word.

Real life is chaotic, unpredictable and will seem to lack any logic. So, the word “fair” is useless. 

Please know one thing my child, those that feel pain deeply, love passionately, live with ferocity; they see beauty where others see nothing at all.

 theirs are the hearts that fill with love and compassion.

A heart like yours.

Use your gifts.

express those things whenever you feel them. 

The sensitive, the intelligent and the highly creative are the most likely to sense these things; it is more of a gift in the end and not a curse, though it may not feel that way sometimes.

I want you to know that I think of you every day and I miss you terribly. 

Know that you have a mother in N.Y.C that loves you unconditionally. 

I hope you know that you can talk to me with any question or problem you have.

I am here for you.

I Love You Devin Jade & hope and pray to see you soon. 

Your Mother, Mary Catherine. 

~ Vocabulary ~

*Agape - (Ancient Greek: ἀγάπη, agápē) is "love: the highest form of love, charity; the love of God for man and of man for God." Not to be confused with "philēo" – brotherly love – agápē  - embraces a universal, unconditional love that transcends, that serves regardless of circumstances.

Three Women; Two poetic collaborations of mind.

Created June 28th, 2016

The First;

Only have one heart;

Split hemisphere of

cold Appalachians.

Glaciers of blue sky,

with one open eye;

The third that has seen. 

We watch the downfall,

black leaves fall on fields;

Foliage of malice,

ashen covered. One

blaze scalded the need.

To hide deep beneath

fear, discord, and rage;

Avalanche within,

doom’s dive. As Above,

so below. Waiting

only to comfort

The dying, sleeping

masses. Call or Scream? 

Senseless, we will dream

till we are ready.

Pour the milk from breast,

stolen daughters tears;

Mothers hell fury.

Only one heartbeat;

The sound… it’s nearing.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen & M. Elizabeth Barrett.

Later that evening...

Which direction will the sun fall?

Toward the place all lost things are returned. 

Where do you go when you die?

To face the scars and the beauty; The realm of truths long forgotten, of enlightenment.

What do you fear most when you arrive there?

That there is something essential I have forgotten.

What have you forgotten?

I cannot speak of what I do not know. 
I will tell you only of what I was reminded;
 Connectedness, light, circles; to love selflessly.
 Selfish acts are the roots of the trees that grow upside down and rot.

Have you ever seen a child in a woman’s body?

Yes, I see the child drowning in my eyes.

Is your body a scar museum?

Of course… Is yours not?

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen & 
Erin Mae Burley

Bolts From Core: Sparring with words

The demand in me will take control;

This prostrating power.

Builds stealthily, then surpasses me;

Intent of secrecy.

Feels like blood rage, burns like my gin days. 

Only smoke, I'm not blind.

Hear the crackle, the adamant hiss; 

Rattling the eardrums. 

This quill will slay you, tear out your truth;

Bleed me till I'm dry.

But this here, this is maniacal; 

More savage is the need.

(I write so I won't kill you.)

From down below, would they look up? 

received only with contempt.

From the onslaught of blow after blow;

Debasements strike lingers.

Let them lay upon the blizzard stones; 

Winter is more cruel each year.

Wake them up choking before sunrise; 

The toxic yokes of shame.

Vile yank up from throat, expelled through mouth; 

Daily exorcism.

(I write so you don't have to.)

With callused hands and grime beneath the nails;

Deaths eye's, cold and vacant.

All reflection has no resemblance; 

Forgotten anima.

All that was precious, once held so dear; 

Values, love. truth, all pursuit.

So insignificant and careless; 

a matchbook or a sock.

(I write so I don't kill you.) 

The comfort rots us inside out;

No vanity found here.

A secret unforseen, my scars shed; 

A reptilian me.

Open the cage to bestial wails; 

Tis' only just begun.

That sweet music is a symphony here; 

The dregs of remembrance.

The prodding of all I have endured;

Kindles all I've witnessed.

Did you hear the click, clank of the latch?

See my steel, smell her smoke?

Blood runs cold yet wild is our fire;

We ravage your refuge.

(I write so you don't have to.) 

My brethren the lost ones;

We fallen seraphim. 

The rage of the downtrodden now rise;

Flank us in formation.

Bareback and bare-chested, bolts from core; 

Mute scream for love unborn. 

(We ride so you don't have to.) 

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen. 

2nd Ave Churchyard: Memorium

Friday the 13th of May

 Graveyard 'Exquisite Corpse' Prose

" ...The idea of primordial unity related to something existing in or persisting from the beginning with such force or qualities it cannot be extinguished..."

~ Kids fuck in graveyards?

All day and all night.

They tantalize the corpses,

in her imaginings while

concrete scabs lock the

wounds of Rape Way,

that ugly alley that

you thought you wanted.

Dumpster fruit, kisses, narcosis.

Oblivion is unattainable fantasy;

snake swallowing its tail,

Ouroboros come to me,

give what you suck!

(and he sucked all)

my favorite whirlpool, 
my only lover; 
a corpse grasping 
at kids fucking...

One horror is preferable. 

Another is debris, fragments

that I constantly puke

on to your grave,

you pitiful man, undead!

This won't hurt

at all he said,

his eyes inside out.

I pray mine close. ~

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

& 

Erin  Mazer Burley