Roll the Dice & Keep ya Mother Fuckin' Lice - Street diction prose

Written in N.Y.C street diction in retaliation.

Talking about me again yo? You mother fuckers have nothing more interesting going on? 
I know you do so why is my name flying out of your mouth? 

" Damn, have you seen Mary?" 
 "Yeah! She looks fuckin' good yo!"

 "Word, she's doin' good too." 

"Yeah, but how longs that gonna last?"

 "Yeah i dont know, aint' she on only like five mg of meth now?" 

"Yea yo, that aint' shit!"

 "Its just a matter of time till she's back out here with us." 

Just. Stop. 

Right about there.

No mother fuckers. 
It is not a matter of time. It is a matter of choice. 
My mother fucking choice. 
Yes I do look good. Damn good. 
Tomorrow, I'll look even better. 
What? Oh because I'm not slurring my words and I speak articulately and carry myself differently.
 Well I'm sober remember? Almost nine months. 
 I'm also housed up, single and I'm doing my own thing and I'm pretty satisfied with my existence. 
 That may be the vibe your picking up on. 
This is what I think you are speaking of when you say to me "Damn you seem so different now!" Staring up at me like I just stepped out of a mother fucking spaceship. 
What the fuck were you expecting? Better question, the real one, the only one. 
How would you have me? What would you have preferred sweethearts? 
Me to walk up and ask if you could score for me?! Me, piss drunk again.
 Or worse, me rollin up to the row looking for Maverick  saying the ol' "Have you seen Maverick?"  
Fat ass chance bro, a real fat ass chance.
 There is actually a better chance of my stepping out of a space ship. 
To be honest. Yeah it is like that, and no I don't care if you tell him I said that.
 Even more sick, were you hoping some morbid shit? 
Like permanent damage to my motor skills due to 
(openly discussed, dissected and rumored)
 my near death experience from liver failure exactly one year ago?

 "I was going to visit you but..."
"We went to visit you but security said you weren't allowed any visitors"
 What dude, really? Okay. First off it doesn't even matter if you did or didn't. 
I was coherent enough to be vain and probably would not allow anyone to see me looking like a month old corpse with tubes and wires in and out of me, like one of Dr. Frankenstein experiments. 
So fuck it.
 I am aware that a pretty big chunk of you really wouldn't be effected if  I  had lived or died last year. With all the people we know droppin' like like flies? Nah aint 'happen bro.
 It would be a week at best of "Whoa, that's so fucked up yo! While Maverick was fucking that one dumb hoe, Mary was fucking dying. Now that's fucked up. Shit, I'm not even that fucked up."  
That would be the end of it. 
Maybe two weeks of chatter and it would fizzle out and another will fall. 
Then it will be the same plot with different dialogue. I get it. That's how it goes.
 That's why I was like, I'm out. I don't want to be remembered for the dumb, drunk, junkie bullshit that I did for a little less then a decade of my life. 
Fuck all that noise. That's just a few chapters in a fairly thick memoir. 
Sorry to disappoint, but yeah.

 I'm still here.

Where you at?

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen