Revamped; A Featured Post

Eyes Cast Downward- Memoir Excerpt

Originally hand written in July 2015 Late Spring of 2014.  Just Months before liver failure Our eyes are nearly always cast dow...

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Dearest Mary Catherine- A letter



Dearest Mary Catherine,
I have loved you from afar for so long it aches. 
I have told many lies for you, I have stolen for you, and stowed you away when you needed to hide. 
I have painted you up to look like something you are not. 
I have written and rehearsed lines for the fa├žade that once was your life. 
I know you so intimately, your nakedness breaks my heart.  
I know why you did all those things. 
I love that fragile, beautiful girl so deeply. 
I want to graze my fingers across the skin on your face and trace the outline of your sharp angled jaw. I want to look into your eyes so I can study every speck of gold and green within their jarring blue.  
I want to study the hardships you try so hard not to acknowledge. 
They are there and they are scars from a brave, hard won battle that you survived.



 Look at your hands, they are tired yet still so loving and tender. 
Those life shaping extensions of you. 
Look at the tiny lines near the corners of your eyes. 
That is proof that you still found humor and joy during tormenting and frightening times since past. You lived and laughed whilst in hell.  How could I not adore you Mary? 

You truly are amazing. 
You brazenly walk the very sidewalks and streets that you once slept on.
Onward, with your head held high, sometimes even smiling or singing. 
Off you go, on your way to write, to read, to see a film, to meet a friend, to make an appointment. 
You have such a power.
You are alive. 
Against a great many odds that were not to your favor.
 You are a miracle if there ever was one to find. 
It is within every breath you take and what you take it for. 
You are hope embodied, thriving and climbing. 
I love you ever so much. 
Please, sweet love, please just let me love you. 
You do not need to fear so harshly any longer.
 No harm shall ever come to you,.
Not as long as you and I are together. 
You are safe now my love,  ever so safe.

Mary Catherine, Cowardice Queen

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