I cannot cease to love nor do I wish to. I only wish I could have had the strength to carry them all.
I want to nurse them back to life; my little bit of hope into their shrieking veins.
Cradle their lovely, mad and weary heads.
Like everything else in my life thus far, I had to learn this through much error.
It was not successful, I would have done more damage; To myself first then to them as a result.
Then I would be another example of doom. A doom they believe they are fated to.
I know it wouldn’t be there if they could see rightly.
I tried to clear their vision. It did not work! My attempt was only met with suspicion and angst.
How can you tell someone you love him or her or even show it?
Someone who does not know what this kind of love is? You can try but it will be for naught.
The danger in this act is very real. I have tried before. You just live; hoping they see their worth.
You must love those who are receptive to this love.
I have a feeling they will always be there.
Just dangling loosely, taunting, wanting to be split open again.
This is why I have to keep my love tucked inside when they are near.
They will recognize it and respond the only way they know how.
I once had the same response to love, it is innate unto this daemon.
That doesn’t take the sorrow away.
When I described that I should be dead.
I shout at her with mascara laden tears that irritate my eyes.
With shallow and quickening breath I cry out,
Yet I am safe, for now; From myself above all. I will go on and sort it out.
I survive. This is a battle to the death and now I fight for my life.
Then I worry later; Peace comes and peace goes. It is not mine to keep, it never was.
I do what nourishes my soul. Though it still feels alien at times, I do so regardless, I must.